Email From Iraq –
Words & Pictures
Published June 2004
Submitted by Alan
– Thanks, Alan!
Please
read the attached, word for word! Then read it again to be sure the
impact of this young officer's experiences sink in. These are the gallant
ones who are at the point of the spear. Whether it be WWII, Korea,
Vietnam, Grenada, Panama, Somalia, Kosovo, Bosnia, Afghanistan or Iraq, the
young leader's challenges have never changed! The raw, stark reality of
the soldier on the ground confronting evil in war remains as miserable and gut
wrenching as ever - the same experienced by their dads, uncles and grandads in
a hundred different campaigns. May God Bless him and his fellow soldiers,
protect him and bring him home safe and sound when the task is done.
Subject: Email from Iraq
Well, I'm here in Iraq, and I've seen it, and done it. I've seen
everything you've ever seen in a war movie. I've seen cowardice; I've
seen heroism; I've seen fear; and I've seen relief. I've seen blood and
brains all over the back of a vehicle, and I've seen men bleed to death
surrounded by their comrades.
I've seen people throw up when it's all over, and I've seen the same shell
shocked look in 35 year old experienced sergeants as in 19 year old privates.
I've heard the screams-"Medic! Medic!" I've hauled dead
civilians out of cars, and I've looked down at my hands and seen them covered
in blood after putting some poor Iraqi civilian in the wrong place at the wrong
time into a helicopter.
I've seen kids with gunshot wounds, and I've seen kids who've tried to kill me.
I've seen men tell lies to save lives: "What happened to Sergeant
A--?"
The
reply: "C'mon man, he's all right-he's wondering if you'll be
okay-he said y'all will have a beer together when you get to
Germany."
SFC A-- was lying fifteen feet away on the other side of
the bunker with two medics over him desperately trying to get either a pulse or
a breath. The man who asked after him was SGT B--, bleeding from two gut
wounds and rasping as he tried to talk with a collapsed lung. SGT B--
made it-SFC A-- didn't.
I've run for cover as fast as I've ever run-I'll hear the bass percussion thump
of mortar rounds and rockets exploding as long as I live. I've heard the
shrapnel as it shredded through the trailers my men live in and over my head.
I've stood, gasping for breath, as I helped drag into a bunker a man so pale
and badly bloodied I didn't even recognize him as a soldier I've known for
months.
I've gathered my breath, stood up straight and walked out of a bunker where
everyone was taking cover to check the trailers for my men. I've run
across open ground to find my soldiers and make sure I had everyone.
I've kicked in doors to houses and seen them fall flat at my feet-like in every
action movie you've ever watched. I've raided houses, and shot off locks,
and broken in windows. I've grabbed prisoners, and guarded them.
I've looked into the faces of men who would have killed me if I'd driven past
their IED an hour later. I've looked at men who've killed two people I
knew, and saw fear. I've seen that,
sadly, that men who try to kill other men aren't monsters, and most of them
aren't even brave-they aren't defiant to the last-they're ordinary
people. Men are men, and that's it. I've prayed for a man to make a
move towards the wire, so I could flip my weapon off safe and put two rounds in
his chest-if I could beat my platoon sergeant's shotgun to the punch.
I've been wanted dead, and I've wanted to kill.
I've sworn at the radio when I heard one of classmate's platoon sergeant's call
over the radio: "Contact! Contact! IED, small arms,
mortars! One KIA, three WIA!" Then a burst of staccato gunfire
and a frantic cry: "Red 1, where are you! Where are you!"
as we raced to the scene, as fast as our HUMVEES could take us, knowing full
well we were too late for at least one of our comrades.
I've sped through towns, guns at the ready, my gut tight, as we drove down the
only road we could see towards an ominous black cloud of smoke rising on the
horizon. I've seen a man without the back of his head and still done what
I've been trained to do-"Medic!" I've cleaned up blood and
brains so my soldiers wouldn't see it-taken pictures to document the scene,
like I'm in some sort of bizarre cop show on TV.
I've heard gunfire and hit the ground, heard it and closed my HUMVEE door, and
heard it and just looked and figured it was too far off to worry about. I've seen men stacked up outside a house,
ready to enter-some as scared as they could be, and some as calm as if they
were picking up lunch from McDonalds. I've laughed at dead men, and
watched a sergeant on the ground, laughing so hard he was crying, because my
boots were stuck in a muddy field, all the while an Iraqi corpse not five feet
from him.
I've heard men worry about civilians, and I've heard men shrug and sum up their
viewpoint in two words-"F*** 'em." I've seen people shoot when
they shouldn't have, and I've seen my soldiers take an extra second or two,
think about it, and spare somebody's life.
I've sat in a sandstorm and spat grit out of my teeth. I've slept in a
thundershower in the desert. I've seen vehicles disappear into the wind
not ten feet in front of me-not even their lights visible. I've seen the
dawn, and I've seen flashes of light brighter than the dawn at midnight.
I've heard things that sound surreal-things you tell yourself you'll never
hear, never say. "We've got a bird down!" "Light 'em
up!" and "There is no such thing as a white flag."
I've been the new guy-"What are those for?" "Stops RPGs,
sir." And, in a month, I've been the veteran-"Why do your men
have a .50 cal round tucked in their body armor, sir?" "They
say the big bullet keeps the smaller ones away."
I've bought drinks from Iraqis while new units watched in wonder from their
trucks, pointing weapons in every direction, including at the Iraqis my men
were buying a Pepsi from. I've patrolled roads for 8 hours at a time that
combat support units spend days preparing to travel ten miles on. I've
laughed as other units sit terrified in traffic, fingers nervously on triggers,
while my soldiers and I deftly whip around, drive on the wrong side of the
road, and wave to Iraqis as we pass. I can recognize a Sadiqqi (Arabic
for friend) from a Haji (Arabic word for someone who has made the pilgrimage to
Mecca, but our word for a bad guy); I know who to point my weapons at, and who
to let pass.
I've come in from my third 18 hour patrol in as many days with a full beard and
stared at a major in a pressed uniform who hasn't left the wire since we've
been here, daring him to tell me to shave. He looked at me, looked at the
dust and sweat and dirt on my uniform, and went back to typing at his
computer. I've stood with my men in the mess hall, surrounded by people
who's idea of a bad day in Iraq is a six hour shift manning a radio, and
watched them give us a wide berth as we swagger in, dirty, smelly, tired, but
sure in our knowledge that we pull the triggers, and we do what the Army does,
and they, with their clean uniforms and weapons that have never fired, support
us.
I've heard people who've been in the Army fifteen years longer than I have
thank me a thousand times for providing them security when their vehicle broke
down, even after I told them they were in a pretty safe area. I've heard
my soldiers laugh at what other people consider dangerous, and heard them make
jokes about death.
I've given a kid water and Gatorade and made a friend for life. I've let
them look through my sunglasses-no one wears them in this country but us-and
watched them pretend to be an American soldier-a swaggering invincible machine,
secure behind his sunglasses, only because the Iraqis can't see the fear in his
eyes.
I've taken off my helmet and glasses inside someone's house, just trying to
calm them down, to reassure them that I'm not the robot I look like with my
gear, and my weapons, and my radios. I've waved at little kids who smile
and wave back, I've winked at little toddlers who hide behind their mother's
leg when we come inside, and I've seen coy smiles from doorways as girls in
their teens peer at us when they aren't supposed to, and, occasionally, if they
think they can get away with it, wave at us-the exotic, dangerous,
foreigners. I've seen a woman give roses to my senior scout, who was
quite unsure what to make of it, and more than a little worried that her
husband or brother or father was back inside the house, looking for his AK.
I've said it a thousand times-"God, I hate this country." I've
heard it a million times more-"This place sucks." In quieter
moments, I've heard more profound things-"Sir, this is a thousand times
worse than I ever thought it would be," and, "My wife and SGT C--'s
wife were good friends-I hope she's taking it well," and "Sir, I know
I said I wanted my CIB, but now I think I'll be okay if I never get it."
I've told men to get in their vehicles and do what I say or I'd send them to
jail, and I've asked the same soldiers how they were taking it. I've had
my men tell me they couldn't trust me one day, because our mission ran long,
and had them run to me and ask if this or that was true two days later.
I've had them tell me I'm not afraid enough for them-and had other soldiers
laugh, because they know, like me, that they'll come through it all right.
I've heard my soldiers who were so scared only a few days earlier that they
told me they wouldn't go out on patrol get angry when they heard another
soldier actually did refuse to go out on a mission. They say they're
scared, and say they won't do this or that, but when it comes time to do it,
they can't let their buddies down, can't let their friends go outside the wire
without them, because they know it isn't right for the team to go into the
ballgame at any less than 100%.
That's combat, I guess, and there's no way you can be ready for it, it just is
what it is, and everybody's experience is different.
Just thought you might want to know what it's really like,
2LT, North of Baghdad
William L. (Willy) Welsch
The pictures on this page also depict “what it’s
really like” and paints a very different overall picture than many in this
country and elsewhere would like you to see.
DebV
