Kenneth B. Kay

A Navy veteran of the tumultuous Vietnam and Nixon years, he served his country from inside that chaotic White House. I cannot sing his praises enough! As a writer and a brother, a mentor and a friend, this man has had a life-long effect on me and so many others. Enjoy the spell he weaves with his mastery of prose and attention to detail that only his style surpasses.

THIS DIXIE CHICK THING

Ken Kay

04/27/03

I might as well weigh in on this. It seems as if everyone else has. Why is there such a fuss and furor in the media every time some celebrity catches hoof in mouth disease? Are our lives so vapid that we can only find intellectual stimulation in hype or stupidity? You have to wonder about the future of humanity judging from the media’s treatment of current trivial events.

OK now down to specifics. I have only one question for the Dixie Chicks. Can you ladies spell “karaoke”? That and possibly singing in a church choir should be the extent of your public exposure between now and when you start playing Talent Nite at the old folk’s home. The magazine cover and the Sawyer interview were both bad moves too. Just because you get caught with your collective foot in your collective mouth does not obligate you to keep on chewing.

One has to wonder what you girls were doing over there in the first place. There can’t be that many redneck expatriates in London. Maybe I am out of touch with the current music tastes of the British public. I’ll admit that is possible. After all, I didn’t think that much of the Beetles until just recently.

It is hard not to question your sense of timing too what with our troops and Britain’s as well in the field and under fire. Didn’t anyone tell you that? Don’t they have newspapers and television over there? You girls don’t look stupid and you clean up real nice. Personally, I prefer to think you acted on the advice of someone else – your manager, a record company exec, or an Iraqi intelligence agent. Heck, even if that is not the case, lie and say it is. Somebody might believe you.

Well when all is said and done you can’t go back and change anything. You need to focus on damage control. The easiest thing to do is disband and do something productive with your lives like get married and have a bunch of babies. Salvaging your career after the damage you have done it ranks right up there with discovering the cure for AIDS. It is not totally impossible but it is going to take a long time, a lot of resources, and total dedication.

And finally, let me give you a bit of advice by the way of a story I heard once. There was an old politician from Tennessee in the ‘50’s by the name of Estes Kefauver, who was asked by a reporter what he intended to do about the mudslinging of a political opponent. “Nothing.” The old gentleman said. When questioned further about responding to the allegations, he said, “I’m just going to let it lay. When I was a boy I was always getting mud on my trouser legs. I found that if I tried to scrape it off all I did was force it deeper into the cloth and made it much harder to get the stain out. If I just let it dry and clod up it would all just brush out and never leave a stain.”

Public opinion is a lot like that mud. Time alone won’t fix this mess you got yourselves into but if you use that time to your advantage by keeping a relatively low profile and doing your best to use your considerable God given talents in a constructive way you should come out alright. It is ok for you to hate George Bush all you want and express your opinions. This is still America after all. Go play the Democratic National Convention in 2004. You guys probably can do a mean Macherana. Maybe you can get them to drop that silly song altogether.

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War Correspondents – “Alright, alright enough already!!”

The True Cost Of Political Proctology – “It would be nice if fear of public exposure kept the cruel, stupid and inept out of public life and power but it hasn’t seemed to deter them in the past.”

Cancer Patience – “Experience is of no value unless it is shared.”

My Rant – “Ok boys and girls, fasten your seat belts, put your seats and tray tables in the full upright position, and get ready. I am going to try my hand at this “rant” business.”

Negro Mattie – “Perhaps the greatest testament to Mattie’s capacity to love was the fact that we were not the only white family to pass by her casket with tears in our eyes.”

Doc – “To say our family respected and trusted our family doctor is an understatement.”

Little Sisters - “I was her foil and scapegoat . . .”